On De-fence!

Since having my accident, I have been emotionally distraught.....I believe we call it PTSD. I am often awakened by the crash in my sleep. I do not see the vehicle heading toward the guardrail, but I recall when everything moved into realtime and the car crashed landed into the creek and water rushed into the vehicle. It is that part that keeps resonating in my head, over and over again. I have headaches on many days, and my body still aches; especially on damp days like today. Because I have residences in two states (DE, PA), I must travel the highway to get back and forth; well really I have been using invitro therapy (flooding stage) to work through my fear of getting into another accident again. Now mind you, I have an impeccable driving history. I drive defensively and offensively....always monitoring mirrors and the road. What makes this so much more difficult is that I suffer with anxiety and depression. My anxiety right now is neverending! I sing or focus on the music, so I do not get trapped in the delusion of being in another accident. When it rains it is even scarier for me. My medication seems to be overwhelmed with the level of stress upon me, but I surge forward. I make Miss Daisy look like a contestant for the Indy 500. If I was not so connected to the heartfelt work that I do in human services, I would be a total wreck like my car. Servitude is the key to freedom from self..... You know people often tell others that they are doing better than they think they are, so thank you for telling me that I am doing pretty good for someone who has just had an experience like mine. My mother still cannot believe that I am back driving so soon. Little does she know....neither do I. I just do it!